Chapter Thirteen: Hesitation

“Hey!”  Daria said as she emerged from the hospital doors, squinting at the rising sun and yawning.  “Sorry.  Night shifts.  Not fun.”

I smiled.  “Thank you for meeting me anyway.”

Daria returned my smile.  “Hey, no problem!  How’s your break going for you?”

“Blissfully dull.”  I admitted.  “I did nothing but read in bed all day yesterday.”

Daria laughed, stretching her arms up and yawning for a second time.  She shook herself and turned back to me.  “Good.  You needed that.  How’s Miser McCann's for breakfast sound?”

“Lovely.”  I said, sighing as I walked beside her.

Daria slowed her pace.  “So how are you really?”

I hesitated, biting my tongue.  Only our steady footsteps against the cobblestone filled the silence.

“I am fine.”  I said, breathing out a sigh.  “As long as I avoid fire… and smoke…”  My mouth twisted into a frown.  “And minor dragons.”

Daria pursued her lips together and stared at the ground as she walked.  She nodded her head once, and then cleared her throat.

“You know….” she said softly.  “You can’t avoid fire forever.”

I sighed, my shoulders slumping.  “I know… but… even the thought of attempting to be near it… it…”  My voice shook as I spoke and my feet froze beneath me.

Daria reached out and touched my shoulder.  “Hey… we’ll take it one step at a time.”

I was somewhat disheartened when the school year began anew.  I mourned the loss of my inexhaustible free time, and then threw myself into my work and my studies with renewed vigor.  Mr. Peters had been right though, the time off had been just what I needed.

“Mr. Stenberg dropped by to inquire about you while you were gone.”  Mr. Peters told me when I finally returned to work.

I stiffened, that familiar feeling of nausea twisting in my stomach.  “Oh?  Did he… did he say what he wanted?”

Mr. Peters shrugged.  “Just asked where you were.  He departed for an extended business trip, but left a number in case you wanted to contact him.”

I tried to smile as I took the slip of paper from Mr. Peters.  As soon as he turned his back I crumpled the paper up and tossed it in the waste basket.

Perhaps it was the practice from last semester, but the management of my responsibilities felt easier this time.  I was able to get up on time, keep track of my schoolwork, and perform well at both my internship and my job.

There was however, an additional difference between this semester and last semester.  Reece was almost always on my mind. 

I would catch myself daydreaming in class, and aching to hear his voice.  Sometimes I would call him up in the evening and ask him to explain some modern-day concept that I already understood quite perfectly, just to have an excuse to call him.  

Over the weekends when I returned to Dragon Valley to work at my internship or Tome Traders, I would drop by his house to visit.  It broke my heart when he had too much work to do to talk much, or was not at home at all.

One evening midway through the semester, I meandered around the dorm kitchen in my bare feet with my cell phone pressed to my ear.  I listened and giggled while I stirred soup.  I was eventually forced to hang up, and I carried the steaming bowl of soup into the dining area.

Nirina and Hale sat waiting at the table with suspicious narrowed eyes.  I froze.

Nirina smirked, her chin in her hand.  “Was that Reece?”

“Oh… yes.”  I said, putting the bowl down on the table.

Nirina grabbed the serving spoon and pulled the bowl towards her.  “You sure talk to him a lot.”

I bit my lip and shrugged my shoulders.  “I suppose…”

“And you wear a stupid grin on your face whenever you do.”  Hale added.

Nirina glanced at me and her smirk widened.  “She does!”

“I… I enjoy our conversations.”  I stammered, quickly dishing a spoonful of the soup into my own bowl.

“You’re blushing.”  Nirina pointed out.

I fumbled with the spoon and then turned to carry my bowl back up to my room.  “I… I have studies to attend to.”

“Sophia.”  Nirina said, stopping me in my tracks.  She used her foot to push the chair across from her out.   “Come sit down.”

Reluctantly, I sat.

Nirina tilted her head to the side.  “When are you gonna tell him?”

My mouth was dry.  “Tell him… tell him what?”

Hale raised one eyebrow.  “That you’re dying to have all his blue-haired babies.”

Nirina shot him a death-glare.  I flushed an even deeper red.

“I-I-I…” I stuttered for a moment and then shut my mouth, swallowing to regain control of my voice.  “I do not have the slightest idea what you…”

“You can cut the denial.  We’re smart anchovies.  You can’t fool us.”  Nirina said, leaning in closer.

I shut my mouth and stared down into my bowl, my face growing hotter and hotter.

Nirina sighed, her expression softening.  “Tell me, because the stories really tell us nothing, did you have any kind of long-term relationship before you died?”

A lump formed in my throat.  I squeezed my hands together in my lap.  “I had… flirtations.  But… I was at war my entire life… it…”

It just never happened.  I thought, a hollow ache gathering in the center of my chest.

A hand touched mine, and I started, looking up.  Nirina smiled at me from across the table.  “This is your second chance!  You have a whole brand new life ahead of you!”

I began to pull my hand away, scooting back from the table.  “I… I am not certain it would be wise to pursue any sort of courtship.  My… my primary obligation is to my studies…”

Nirina clasped my hand and pulled me back.  “Sophia, you’re doing the exact same thing you did in your first life!  You’re letting your sense of duty get in the way of what you really want.”

“I…” I shut my mouth and swallowed.

Nirina sighed, her grip on my hand loosening.

“Answer me honestly…” she said softly.  “Do you like Reece?”

“Yes.”  I breathed out.  It was little more than a squeak, but when I said it Nirina smiled and I could not help but smile back.  I felt strange inside, almost bubbly.

Nirina’s smile took on a mischievous glint.  She prodded my hand.  “Do you more than like Reece?”

I flushed again, but nodded my head. “Yes.”

“Then go reaping get him!”

The next day, I picked up the phone to dial Reece.  I took a deep breath, trying to rehearse what I wanted to say in my mind.  I stared at the screen until finally I put the phone away with a frustrated sigh.

“You don’t have to start with a spectacular declaration of love, just ask him to dinner!” Nirina scolded me after a week had passed by.

But I remained no closer to confessing my feelings as the semester drew to a close. 

Promotional posters started popping up on the break-room bulletin board at my internship.  The hospital was having a lavish charity gala towards the end of summer and every resident, doctor, receptionist, and intern was invited.  At first, I paid it no attention, deleting the e-mail invitation and carrying on about my work as usual.

“I’m excited.”  Daria gushed when she met me for lunch one afternoon.  “I haven’t had a chance to get dressed up for something since high school!”  I nodded my head, my attention directed out the window at an elderly couple who strolled along the sidewalk, hand in hand.  

Daria tilted her head to the side and leaned in closer.  “You know, you could ask a date to the Gala.”

My head snapped back towards her.  “What?”

“A date.”  Daria said, smiling innocently and lifting her cup to her lips.

My eyes narrowed.  “Have you been talking to Nirina?”

Daria shook her head and shrugged her shoulders as she gulped.  “Mmh-Mmh.”

I stared at the poster hanging above the coffee maker for the rest of the lunch break.  Even as I walked home, its image was burned in my mind.  My heart started pounding in my chest, and my feet quickened beneath me.

I changed as quickly as I could, and spent a half an hour in front of the mirror fussing over my hair.  When at last I felt I looked presentable enough, I took one deep, steeling breath, and held my chin high.

The sun was dipping low in the sky by the time I finally headed out to Reece’s house.  The air was fresh and cool, the birds were chirping a happy tune.  Warm flutters bubbled up from the depths of my heart and I found myself smiling.  My feet moved faster and faster, and by the time I saw Reece’s house I was sprinting.

I burst through the door, calling out as I raced into the kitchen.

“Reece!  I have something to ask you!  Will yo-!”  I stopped dead as I turned the corner.  The warm flutters in my heart evaporated in an instant.

A girl stood by the dining table.  Timber sat on her wrist, trilling his tongue as though he were cooing and rubbing his face up against her outstretched hand.  She tilted her head to the side, giving me a quizzical look.

“So... who are you and why did you just barge into my house like you own the place?”  she asked.

I swallowed, looking from Timber’s contented face to her bright, turquoise eyes.  There was really only one person she could be.

“Oh...”  I stammered, holding out my hand.  “You must be Regan... I am sorry for my ill-manners.  I did not realize that you would be home.”

“That's okay...”  Regan said, slowly clasping my hand and giving it one firm shake.  She looked me up and down with narrowed eyes, and frowned.  “Is that my shirt?”

I pulled my hand back and touched the hem of the blouse I wore, my face flushing.

“Probably...”  I murmured, turning around and glancing through the open door to the bedroom, and then around to the empty hallway.  “Is Reece here?”

Regan’s expression softened, and she looked down, stroking Timber's underbelly.  “He’s out in the back.”

I was already turning to the back door as she spoke.  “Thank you!”  I murmured over my shoulder.

As I walked out again, I tried to muster up the courage I had felt racing up the walkway, but it was gone.    Regan’s presence had disarmed me.

In the two years I had lived in Dragon Valley, she had never been home.  She was supposed to be out trekking the globe, hunting some powerful Lucian Matriarch.

What was she doing here now?

I spotted Reece sitting on the steps of his family’s backyard pavilion, and those flutters in my heart came alive again.  He sat with his hands on his knees and his shoulders slumped.

“Reece!” I cried, skipping across the pavilion towards him.

He turned his head towards me.  The corners of his lips flickered up for just a moment, but then his expression turned somber.

“Oh... hey Sophia.” he murmured.

I skidded to a halt, my face falling.

“Reece, are you well?”  I asked.

Reece stared off into the distance, his chin in his hand.  I took a step forward, and he blinked and looked up towards me again.

“...what?” he asked.

“I asked, are you well?”  I repeated, the spring going out of my step.

“Oh...”  Reece said, biting his lip and averting his eyes from mine.  “It's...” he stopped suddenly, shaking his head.  “It's... it's nothing.  How have you been?  How's the internship going?”

I tilted my head to the side with concern.

“Are you certain you are well?”  I asked again.

Reece waved his hand, still staring off into the distance.  “Don't worry about me... tell me what's up.”

I hesitated, my heartbeat quickening in my chest.  I felt as though all the confidence I had talked into myself was draining straight out of the flushed pores of my face.  Reece remained still, his eyes glazed over as he stared towards the distant horizon.

I cleared my throat and lowered myself to sit down next to him.  “The internship is going well.  Splendid, in fact.”

“Uh huh.”  Reece murmured.

“We're all invited to a charity Gala at the end of the summer.”  I added, twisting my fingers together with sweat coating my palms.

Reece nodded his head once, still staring off into the distance.  My mouth felt dry.

“So I was wondering...” I said, swallowing and taking one deep breathe to steel myself.  “If you would perhaps... accompany me.”

Reece blinked and the glaze went out of his eyes.  He turned back towards me, his eyes wider, his lips slightly ajar.  I finally had his complete attention, but I had trouble reading the expression on his face.

“As my date?”  I added.  My voice cracked over the last word so that it came out sounding more like a question than I had intended it to.

I stared back at him, biting my lip.  He was quiet for a moment.

“Sophia... I would love to... but...” he stammered.

My pounding heart slowed to a crawl and a cold rush ran over all my limbs.  I could feel the corners of my eyes burning.

“... but I can't.”  Reece finished, turning his head down.

“Wha-?”  I started, but I had to stop and swallow down the sob that threatened to break through my voice.  I blinked quickly to keep the burning in my eyes from turning into tears.  “Why not?”

Reece sighed, closing his eyes.  He turned his body towards me and reached out, clasping my sweating hands with one of his.

“Sophia… I…” he stammered.

He looked up into my eyes and his voice broke.  His turquoise eyes seemed to glisten for a moment.

The back door slammed shut and we both gave a start.  Regan started up the pavilion steps, her heavy boots sending shudders through the entire structure.

“He can’t go with you… because he’s coming with me.” she said, crossing her arms over her chest as she reached us.

I glanced back at Reece, my mouth falling open.  “What…?  Reece… what is she…?”

Regan did not give him a chance to speak.

“We’re leaving Dragon Valley.”  she snapped.  “Tomorrow.”