Chapter Twelve: Infatuation

I ran until my lungs broiled and my legs felt as though they would give way beneath me.  I could still taste the heat of the ash on my dry, cracked lips, and no matter how many breaths of the clean winter air I gulped down, smoke still stung in my nostrils. 

And the memories assaulted my mind.  No matter how fast I ran, I could not escape them.

Forests crumbling in the inferno.  Teeth poising for the attack.  Scales shimmering in the sweltering humidity.  Mother’s burning hand stretching out towards me.  Emrys’s eyes glaring down at me as my body turned to ash.

I stumbled, and doubled over, my chest heaving.  I pressed my hand to my heart and felt it drumming in my chest.

Th-th-hump.  Th-th-thump.  Th-th-thump.  I was alive. 

I lifted my head, forcing myself to take one slow breath in.  The cold chilled my heated skin.  The images slowed down.  I breathed in.  I breathed out.

I was still alive.

Flecks of snow caught in my eyelashes, and I blinked them away.  I lifted my head and looked around.  A cold chill crept up my spine.

The gates of the cemetery loomed overhead.

I wrapped my arms around my body and looked back down at the ground.  The edges of my eyes burned.  I closed them, and took in one choking sob.  I fumbled in my pockets and drew out my cell phone.  My fingers shook as they hovered over the keys.

I dialed the only number I knew by heart.

“Sophia?”  I heard Reece’s voice on the other end.

I clasped my hand to my mouth and shuddered.  Tears dripped down my face.

“Sophia?”  Reece said again, sounding disappointed.  “Are you really there or did you butt-dial me again?”

I let out a strangled sound that was half-laugh and half-sniffle.  “I’m so glad to hear your voice.”

“Hey… hey, what’s the matter?”  Reece asked, his voice full of concern.

I could not answer.  What was I to say?  That I had been scared senseless by a perfectly normal, perfectly contained fire? 

I pressed the phone closer to my ear, just to listen to his calm, even breathing.  My feet trudged over the snow automatically.

“Sophia, are you okay?” he asked.

I stopped.  My eyes raised, over the clean, unbroken snow, up the weathered sides of a headstone, and finally to the name inscribed in its ancient surface.

Sophia Carol

“No.”  I said at last, my voice shaking as I spoke.

“Where are you?” he asked.  I heard a few thumps in the background and the jingle of keys.

“The cemetery.”  I sniffled, and wiped the back of my hand on my nose.

There was a pause on the other end.  I heard door hinges creak.

“I’ll be right there.”  he said.

I nodded my head, and my thumb hovered over the button to disconnect, but I did not push it.  Neither did he.  He stayed on the line, murmuring reassurances that he was still there while I stood in front of my own grave and cried.

Then there he was, racing through the gates.   All of the shame and sadness knotted in the pit of my stomach let go, and for an instant my tears stopped.

When was the last time I had seen him?  I could not recall. 

The phone slipped out of my hand and fell into the snow.  I bounded towards him.

I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in his shoulder.  He staggered backwards a step, then embraced me as well.

“I missed you.”  I whispered, trembling with each breath. 

“I missed you too.  You’re so busy all the time…”  Reece murmured, rubbing my back.  He let out a sigh.  “What are you doing here?”

I stayed silent for a moment, biting my lip.

“There was a bonfire in town square.” I said finally.

Reece looked down on me, eyes full of concern.  “Did you… did you have a panic attack?”

I unwound myself from his arms and stepped away, my eyes downcast. 

“You must think me weak.  Fearful of a few burning coals…” I whispered.

“No, I don’t!”  Reece shook his head.  “You went through so much in your first life that you never had the chance to sit down and deal with.  This kind of thing… it’s a natural human response to trauma.  You don’t need to feel ashamed.”

I pursed my chapped lips together and stared down at the snow, crossing my arms over my chest. 

Reece sighed.  “Look, you might need help.  Professional help, I mean.  I know someone you could talk to about it-!”

“No.”  I said, shaking my head and shuddering.  “How am I to explain my fear?  Am I to announce that I am a mythical figure from the past and its long-dead dragons still haunt me? Bare my secrets and my soul to a stranger?”

Reece held up his hands.  “And I get that the idea scares you, but it might be what you need.  I can listen, and I can try to help you… but I’m not a doctor.”

I bit my lip.  My eyes strayed to my grave.  The longer I looked at it, the louder my heartbeat thundered in my ears.

“Hey.”  Reece said.  His warm fingers touched my chin and turned my face away from the grave.  “Or maybe you could talk to Daria.  It’s not really her area of expertise… but at least you trust Daria, right?”

I sniffled, and nodded my head once.  Reece smiled, his turquoises eyes lit up.  There was a flutter in my thundering heartbeat.

I quickly wiped my eyes and looked up at the sky.  The moon had climbed to the highest point of it arc.

“Ancients…”  I whispered, rubbing my freezing hands together.  “What time is it?”

“Late.”  Reece said, backing up and plucking my cell phone out of the snow.  He dusted it off and handed it back to me with a sheepish grin.  “Got exams tomorrow?”

I nodded, tucking the phone back into my jacket.  I stared out at the long, dark pathway through the cemetery, a lump rising in my throat.

“I’ll walk you home.”  Reece said, touching my shoulder.

There it was again, that flutter in my heart.  I cracked a smile, and fell in step behind him.  He turned towards the path ahead, and led the way.

Then, something happened.  He jerked his head to the right, towards one looming gravestone.  His shoulders tensed.  His mouth pressed into a thin line

I froze.  “What is it?”

       

He stared at the gravestone for a moment, shaking his head.

           

“Just... nothing.”  he said, turning his eyes back down on the ground.  “Let’s get out of here.”

   

I caught his shoulder, and he froze.  I could still feel the tension in his muscles. 

I trusted him with my secrets, could he not trust me with his own?

           

“Tell me.”  I said softly.

He turned around, his eyes still on the ground.  He swallowed.

           

“You'd... you'd think I'm being crazy.”  he whispered.  “Even Hale and the girls think I'm crazy.”  His voice dropped lower.  “My parents think I'm crazy.”

I let out a breath and shook my head.  “You speak to a woman who burned to death once and are afraid she would think you mad?”

Reece blushed, the corners of his lips turning up just a tad.  “Maybe.”

           

I giggled under my breath and stepped up to the gravestone, brushing the snow away from the inscription.  It was a much younger grave than my own, but still weathered from decades of exposure.

           

“Niall Mithrilen.”  I read out loud, pursing my lips together with a frown.  “Did you know him?”

Reece shook his head.  “No.  But...” he breathed out, closing his eyes and shaking his head.  “He's... he's still here.”

           

My brow furrowed as I turned to look at him.  “What?”

           

Reece shrugged his shoulders, averting his eyes from my gaze.  “I mean... he's in the void.  The outermost layer of the Netherworld.  He's been flickering in and out of it since I was in high school.”  Reece turned back to the path ahead.  “That's... that's the crazy thing.  I can sense souls in the void.  Or... at least I think I can.”  he sighed, biting his lip.

I glanced back from the gravestone, to Reece.

           

“Really?”  I asked, breathless.  “What is it like?”

           

Reece chewed on his lower lip.  “Like... I can feel him with a sixth sense… a mind’s eye, almost.”  Reece said, his voice falling into a low whisper.

           

I glanced at the grave, and then stepped closer to Reece.  “How do you know he's in the Void?”

Reece stared at his feet, twisting the toe of his sneaker in the snow.

           

“Well... I'm just guessing really.”  Reece whispered.  “The whole dreamscape-layers-of-the-Netherworld is really just my guesswork.  Well... my educated theory based on extensive research from ghost testimonials.”

           

Reece wiggled his eyebrows at me, and I smiled.

           

“It is a good theory.”  I insisted.  Reece blushed, and turned his head down.

I tapped my fingers to my lips, my thoughts racing.  “If he is in this outermost layer of the Netherworld… does that mean you could resurrect him?  Like you resurrected me?”

                  

The smile vanished from Reece’s face, and his shoulders slumped.

         

“Probably.  I mean... I think so.  If I had a Philosopher's Stone.  But I don't.”  Reece paused to take a breath and swallowed.  He turned away from Niall’s grave and started back up the path out of the cemetery.  “And crawling around Quintessa Lucian's storehouses hunting for one I used to resurrect you was the most nerve-wracking experience of my life.  I'm pretty sure if she had caught me she would have torn out my heart with her bare hands.”  Reece gave a nervous laugh.

 I shuddered a little as I walked beside him. “Did you really risk such great danger to yourself for a simple science project?”

      

“It... kinda wasn't just about the project to me.”  Reece said, his eyes flickering up to me.  He coughed, and turned ahead.

          

I stopped walking and my brow furrowed.  “What do you mean?”

           

“Err...”  Reece stammered, glancing back and forth.  “It’s not really that important…”

I glanced back over my shoulder at Niall’s grave.  “I do not understand.  You said you could sense him too, for some time now.  Why did you choose to resurrect me, the ancient soul, when you could surely have had better luck with a younger soul like him?”

Reece swallowed.  His face seemed to pale for a moment.  “I... picked you cause... of... well...”  He stared at the ground.  His voice was little more than a whisper.      “I told you... I grew up with stories about you.  That was... kind of an understatement.  I was completely obsessed with you.”          

I frowned.  Catching the expression on my face, Reece stammered, tripping over his own words. “I mean, as a kid!  You know... uhhh... kid phases?  I grew out of it!  Mostly.  I mean... you know how some kids get really into dinosaurs or pirates?  They just go through this phase where they can't get enough of something... you know what that's like... right?”

       

My face brightened.  “I loved the Greek epics as a child.”

“Right!”  Reece said, breathing a sigh of relief and smoothing back his hair.  “Well I loved... errr... My phase was Sophia Carol..."  

"I read so many stories.  I spent whole afternoons pretending that I was a dragonslayer... Timber didn’t really appreciate it.  Sometimes I could get my sister to play along with me and pretend to be you, but she was never as into it as I was.”

I frowned again.  More out of confusion than disapproval.  I could not imagine any children reading my life as a story and then pretending to be me.  It was too much to wrap my mind around.  Reece saw my expression, and his face fell.

           

“I know that might sound a little... creepy.”  he admitted, kicking at the snow under his feet. “But it was just... kid-stuff... ya'know?  So... it wasn't really all that weird when I went to visit your grave.”

           

Reece stopped, crossing his arms over his chest.  “When I walked into this graveyard for the first time, and stepped up to your grave... I felt you and I just knew that you were still here.  Somehow, even after all this time.  I felt almost as though I could just reach out and touch you with my mind's eye.”

I was silent, staring straight ahead I walked behind him.

“My parents... they said I'd taken things too far.  They took away my books about you when I wouldn't shut up about it.  But it happened again, at my grandfather's funeral.  I felt someone, still there.  Then I took to wandering through graveyards looking for people.”  Reece glanced back at me.  “That's when my next phase started.  The one Nirina likes to call my 'very unhealthy obsession with the Netherworld.'”  Reece let out another nervous laugh, and scratched the back of his neck.  “I didn't... forget about you though.  Everyone else who studies the Netherworld says that souls just move on after a certain amount of time.  But I knew better.  You were still here, after centuries.  There had to be a reason for it.”

As he spoke, the gates of the cemetery passed overhead.  We walked past the familiar neighborhood houses, their windows dark and lifeless.  Reece rambled on, rarely making eye contact with me.

Finally, Reece’s feet stopped moving.  His voice dropped low.  “I've always wanted to find a way to bring you back, Sophia.  The project was really just my excuse to try.”

 He bit his lip, and then glanced up at me.  I watched him with a contemplative expression on my face.  He squirmed under my gaze, gesturing over his shoulder.

           

“Um... home sweet shack.”  he murmured.        

I glanced behind him at my familiar little house.  Mere minutes ago, I would have been glad to see it, but now looking on it made me feel hollow.

I no longer wanted to go home.

“So... I guess you're going back to campus in the morning?” he asked, tucking his hands into the pockets of his sweatshirt.

           

“I… suppose.”  I said, twisting my fingers together.

He opened his mouth, as though he wanted to say something more.  He sighed, and took a step backward.  “So... goodnight?  I guess.”

I wanted to reach out to him, to pull him back, but my fingers refused to uncurl.  My arms did not move.

He turned, glancing back at me over his shoulder.  I clenched my hands back down at my sides and trudged up the steps to my front door.

“Sophia?”  Reece said, startling me.

I turned back around, my heart pounding faster. 

“Um…”  Reece stammered.  His eyes were wide, and for an instant his lips seemed to tremble.

I held my breath.

He bit his trembling lip and took another step back.  “You… you know you can call me anytime, right?”

My shoulders slumped, and I nodded my head. 

“Yes.  Thank you.”  I whispered.

Reece smiled, and turned back around.  “See you later.  Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”  I repeated automatically.

I turned around and opened the door.  When it closed behind me, I sunk back against it and curled my arms around knees.

Reece worried that I found his childhood fascination with me ‘creepy.’  But in truth, I did not find it unsettling at all.  The thought filled me with warmth that curled in the depths of my heart.

And for the first time, I admitted to myself that I was infatuated with Reece Lewis.